Happy

I want to be happy again. I saw my counselor today. She is so wonderful. We talked about tools I can use when I am tempted by men, especially those I have met online. I think I am addicted to attention. Or sex. Or both. I realize I am just trying to use counterfeit ways to feel loved, needed, desired, wanted etc.  I've been so strong lately and have been able to tell every temptation no. 

Well almost everyone. There's Andrew. I guess I'm sort of dating him. I really enjoy being with him and we have a lot of fun together. He makes me laugh and I love his sarcasm. We don't see each other a lot due to our conflicting  jobs and the fact the Andrew is the hardest worker I've ever known. He works around 100 hours a week. He is a machine!!! We try to spend as much time together as we can. He also has a 12 year old son to spend time with. I want to be sensitive to that. 

We aren't "exclusive" but through some serious conversations we both really like each other and we want to build a friendship and take things slow.  So that's the plan. I don't want to be an annoying, smothering girlfriend so I'm just going with the flow.  I told my counselor today that I don't know if Andrew and I are marriage material but I still want to get to know him and learn from him. He is a nice distraction from someone who occupies way too much time in my mind. I honestly think less of Jerrid now than ever before. I think that's a great thing!! 

I really like Andrew. More than I'm willing to admit. We went to Jackson Hole together for the weekend a few weeks ago. It was a lot if fun. We relaxed, went on a few road trips to find elk and we almost drove to West Yellowstone. We had some great food. But honestly my favorite time was talking to him on the way up and the way down in the car. I love talking to him. I can learn a lot from him. He's a really neat person. He makes me laugh.